STEP FIVE: Household weapons

Now that you have secured your temporary living arrangement, you need to gather up items throughout the house that could be used as a weapon. It’s not that you’re going to bash anyone who comes to the door over the head (just yet). But if anyone succeeds in breaking into your house, you need to be able to protect yourself. Obviously the best weapons for fighting off humans (or at least persuading them to leave your property) are guns. Right now, if someone breaks down the front door and you point a gun at them, they will be more scared than if you had a frying pan. But not everybody has a gun lying around the house. So the next best weapon is some sort of big blunt object, such as a baseball bat or shovel.

And I know what a lot of you are thinking: “No, obviously a sharp knife or a sword of some sort will be better”. No. With a sharp knife/sword you need to get in close with your enemy, and physically plunge it into their body; killing them. Two things: one, getting in close to your attacker with a knife is dangerous because chances are you aren’t trained with using a knife, but they might be. And two, not many people have it in them to physically shove a knife into a living person’s body. The reason why a baseball bat or a shovel is better is because you don’t have to be too close to hit them, and hitting a person over the head is easier than stabbing their throat. Although big ass knives are intimidating and effective, they are not as practical as a longer range weapon. But don’t give up on knives/swords, they still work.

Don’t be afraid to get creative with these house hold weapons: everything is a weapon.

Baseball bats, shovels, axes, pitchforks, kitchen knives, chair legs, chainsaws, power cords, coat hangers, glass bottles, musical instrument (guitar, drum sticks, mini keyboard, flute etc.), printers, computer monitors, pens, pencils, speakers, foldable stools/chairs, walking sticks, rocks, water jugs, sculptures, deodorant sprays, hard hats, ANYTHING. These weapons don’t have to kill anyone on the first hit (although it helps), but anything that will cause pain and slow them down is required.

Everyone should have two to three weapons each. A big weapon, and one or two small weapons. My preference would be a shovel (with a metal tip), a hatchet, and a small kitchen knife.

Keep calm and protect yourself.